As I’m writing to you, I am in a class full of teenagers who are writing short stories, as they prepare for their exams. How did we get here? That’s my testimony. My backstory isn’t extraordinary, but it does give context. In high school, I was the kid who was a part of all of the clubs and all of the teams. In truth, I spent more time doing extracurriculars than actual curricular activities - and I loved every second of it. When High School ended, I wasn’t sad. I celebrated the end of something amazing for me. I went off to University, preparing myself for a brand new world and a brand new challenge. I went in to study History and English to one day become a teacher. And as I’m writing this, I can say that I’ve done pretty well, as I am planning on graduating in the Spring (another testimony, I’m sure). I got a side job working at a day care with my mom. After three years of toiling there and going through the rounds, I started thinking about leaving. Time for a new journey, I thought to myself. Low and behold, the Principal of the school affiliated to the day care urgently needed someone to replace a teacher: so, I was called. I did well, almost working full time as a supply teacher for a month; I loved every second of it. But the Father had more for me. So one of the teachers I worked with one day came to me and said there was an opening at my old high school, as her husband was the new vice-principal. I hoped to get it but knew it was a long shot as I didn’t - and still don’t, might I add - have my Bachelors degree. But here I am, talking to you now from this comfy chair, telling you what the Father made for me. You could take away the concept of working hard from this and it wouldn’t be wrong, but it would be to do everything for Him. Even if you don’t work in the church, imagine that everything you do is being done for the Father, His Son and His plans. It will always work out. I will leave you with a song as all I want to do right now is sing - even if I’m in a classroom filled with students who are trying to write. Here is ‘Sound of the Saints’ by Audio Adrenaline: let us sing and praise Him with all we have! May the Father bless you, Eli
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In January, I said that this was going to be my defining phrase for all of 2020: “Let God be God.” I was going to walk into this year not living in my strength, but living through trust in the Son of God who loves me and gave Himself up for me (Galatians 2:20).
The next sentence I want to write is “and then COVID hit,” but the truth is, although it impacted quite a bit, COVID didn’t change my life all that much. Not initially or obviously anyway. I’d been looking for a job for months at the start of the year and had a number of interviews that led nowhere. One of these interviews was for a job I thought for sure God would want me at. It was one that merged faith and media- something I feel called to- where I thought I could start a career. A few weeks after the interview, I got the news; I didn’t get the job. No worries, I was used to this at this point. Life goes on; and on it went, with tears and frustration and me throwing in the towel but picking it right back up again because your girl needs money. After a few months of this, I did get a job, through events I can only describe as God’s favour. I was recommended for it by someone who knows me, it is that blend of faith and media that I feel called to, and I have had the most amazing time at work so far. But what made me go ‘yeah, God is definitely in this’, is the fact that the position almost never existed. This is the story; The organisation I work for is able to pay me through a grant from a bigger organisation that funds various positions in the Toronto area every summer. One day, I’m at a meeting with my boss and a worker from that organisation, and my boss starts to thank her for her support saying, “I’m so glad you decided to do this, I know you weren’t going to,” to which she responds, “you know this position is the only one we funded this year?” I go, what?, in my head as she begins to recount how they had decided not to fund any positions this year because, COVID. However, she frequently read the newsletters from my boss about the work he does and really believes in it, so she took it to her boss and said, “if we don’t fund anyone this summer, we have to at least fund these people. If not, what are we doing?” Her boss replied, “yeah, sure, let’s do it,” and because of that, I got to have a job for the summer. A job that allows me to work out what God is laying on my heart, that reminds me of who He is, and that really doesn’t feel like work to me. If that wasn’t enough, I also found out that the job I had interviewed for before didn’t end up happening because, COVID, and this job I’m doing now exists because the organisation I work for realised that they need more of an online presence. How did they come to that realisation? COVID. This isn’t one of those “God will bring your enemies down and elevate you” messages, it’s a reminder- to you, as well as to myself. I spent a lot of last year and this year worrying about different things, and at this point, 2020 has knocked the wind out of a lot of us; but in my shortness of breath, God has told me- in many different ways- to trust Him enough to surrender my life and live through Jesus: the Perfect One who loves me. You can trust Him because He loves you. So that’s my message here. Live in Jesus, and let God be God. Seun Hi everyone!
My name is Emi, and I’m currently in the 3rd year of my bachelor’s degree in theology (majoring in youth ministry). I’m so grateful to be given this opportunity and platform to share my testimony! I won’t bore you with the long-winded details of how I grew up in the Christian faith and attended church twice a week. Nah. Instead, here’s a very abbreviated version: Although I grew up going to church, I have a relatively short (but wild) faith heritage. My parents became Christians in 1990, after a friend of theirs shared his story of how he turned away from Satanism after encountering the saving grace of Jesus. I love to think about how the reason my family and I are Christians is because Jesus revealed Himself to my parents through an ex-Satanist who was bold enough to share his testimony. I am so grateful that God had this plan for my family and I! I’ve been through many ups and downs throughout my life, with many of them having one thing in common: my faith. I’ve had terrible things done to me in the name of the Bible, and I’ve encountered many difficult situations because I was a Christian. In theory, I have every intellectual and emotional reason to turn away from my Christian faith. So, why haven’t I? Because I know that Jesus’ love for me, and the entirety of who God is, far exceeds my own (and that of everybody in my life) interpretation of faith, Scripture, and who God is. I know that God is beyond what I know or think of Him. I know that God’s character, power, and abilities are far greater than I could ever imagine. Jesus, in all of His radicality and perfect fulfillment of God’s love, salvation, and care for the entire world, is not seen anywhere else than in the Bible and in the work of the Holy Spirit. I have not turned away from my Christian faith, even though I’ve been given every reason to, because I’ve felt a peace in my troubles that is unexplainable. I’ve been loved like no human, deity, or fiction of my imagination could love me. I’ve been cared for, seen, and sought after passionately like no one else could do. It’s only been, and forever will be, Jesus. The trouble I’ve faced because of my faith pales in comparison to the love I’ve experienced because of my faith. The pain I’ve felt “in the name of the Bible” pales in comparison to the love and kindness I’ve seen be shown and done in the name of Jesus. The transforming power of the Holy Spirit in my life and in the lives of people close to me far outweighs any acts of misguided theology. The light far outweighs the darkness. Any deeds of darkness done in the name of God is not from God, because in God there is no darkness (Matthew 5:14-16; 1 John 1:5). In your darkest moments, I hope you remember that God is, and will always be, love (1 John 4:7-21). Thank you so much for reading! You can find me at: http://emihabel.com https://www.instagram.com/emi_habel/ For a long time, my core desire was to be “enough”, to feel seen, and know that I am loved (security & validation). I felt like the only way to have this was to be a perfect person. There was no room for error. I thought that my work could earn me the love, validation, and/or approval I so desperately longed for. I thought that if I did the right things I could fill the void I was experiencing. I was terrified of losing the approval my family and friends or of not being liked by the people in my life. I worked hard to maintain the appearance of being good enough, I didn't want people to see my brokenness - to be honest, I didn’t want to see my own brokenness.
I think in more ways than one, I conflated other people's approval of me as God’s approval of me. I thought if people validated me for doing the right things then God would too. I feared condemnation and making mistakes. But, after a while, trying to be perfect just left me feeling tired, unsatisfied, drained, and empty. I think eventually it led me to sin and farther away from God rather than closer to Him. I just felt broken. My pursuit of perfection and approval only made me more aware of my lack and my need to really experience the love of my Saviour. I knew that my desires to be perfect did not make me full, I knew that I needed to just surrender my brokenness to God. I needed to trust that His grace would cover all. I also needed to learn what it meant that His power is made perfect in my weakness. I began to surrender my life to Jesus in a new way. I realized that God wasn’t a scary authority that I had try and please. He was someone that I could experience a true relationship with - despite my flaws and imperfections He approved of me. That was the only thing that mattered. He approved of me and loved me, despite the fact that I would never be perfect. His perfection covered my imperfection. Choosing to really know God allowed me to see His character. I realized that all the things I was looking for elsewhere - to be seen, known, and approved of, - was found in Him. He filled up the whole that I was trying to fill in my own strength and doing. Now, I don’t have to long for anything when I truly abide in Him. Now, I don’t have to question my worth. Now, I know that I am loved. I am His daughter and that is more than enough. Hi 😊
Today I wanted to share with you the way in which God healed me from an illness that is not normally cured 😉 When I was 12, like many girls at that age, I started menstruating. At the time, nothing seemed abnormal. Only I was followed very closely by my doctor because my mother and grandmother each had problems with endometriosis. This disease is poorly understood even if we talk more and more but it seems that genetics are taken into account for the diagnosis. I was therefore followed from the start of my puberty in order to be able to anticipate possible problems. From the start, I had fairly intense pain, which went away when I was taking a "classic" painkiller. Over the months the pains increased. So I was forced to take the pill when I was not yet 14 years old. It is the only known "treatment" for this disease. Only this "treatment" has not been effective for me. At the time I was in the 3rd grade (Canadian 9th Grade), I was often absent because of my pain which put me to bed. I went to the emergency room almost every month because of my pain. My gynecologist finally offered to operate on me when I was 15 to see exactly what was going on in my womb. After the operation, it was determined that I was at an advanced stage of the disease, an abnormal stage for my age and that therefore I would most certainly be sterile. When I started 11th grade, I was still sick and things were getting worse. I missed more and more classes, no medication relieved the pain and I continued to go to the emergency room regularly. In all this, I did not want to accept that I was really sick, for me it was normal to have pain like that, I had no choice. My mother, who is a Christian and very involved in our church, asked the church to pray for me. At that time I just thought that my illness was a kind of punishment for all the time I spent away from God, making my life as I wanted without worrying about what He wanted for me and without Him. leave some room. At the end of my first year, I had 5 overall average - which is pretty bad when the average is counted from 0 to 20 in France. I was supposed to repeat the year, but my main teacher decided to put me in the upper class anyway because, despite my very low results, I had not given up throughout the year and I had shown good will. During the summer vacation between grade 11 and grade 12, I went to a Christian camp. It was a camp reserved for adults, yet I was going at 17 years old. So normally I was not allowed to participate but my youth pastor at the time knew one of the organizers and so I was able to go there with a friend. The second evening, during the service, there was a call where the pastors offered to step out of the ranks so that they could pray for us. I stepped forward, not really knowing why I needed prayer. When the pastor asked me what my problem was, I replied that I was sick. He then prayed for me to heal and at that moment I felt like great heat invading my whole body and the impression that something bad was coming out of my body. When I got out of the sanctuary, I ran for a few meters, which I normally couldn't do without feeling excruciating stomach pain. But I didn't feel any pain, any discomfort. I knew I was healed. Since then, I don’t have any more pain, I haven't gone back to the emergency room once and my period is no longer a problem in my daily life. God does great things, it is an incurable disease, even my attending physician cannot believe it. She doesn't understand how I can live so well without any treatment. My only answer is: Jesus healed me! And He can do it for you too, whatever your illness may be, your pain, your pathology, Jesus heals! He died for that. Isaiah 53: 5 "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." Be blessed My parents had been in the church since before I was born. I grew up in that environment. The church was - and still is - my family. To see people being delivered and receiving gifts from the Lord was something that I was desensitized to. So my coming to Christ didn’t come through anything like that: it surprisingly came through logic.
At the age of thirteen, I wanted to give my life to Christ because I didn’t want to die not having given mine to Christ. I wanted to meet him and understand him. So I read the Bible. It made sense to me. I got baptized not long after. What confirmed it to me was when I lost an important document. I really didn’t want my parents to know about what I had done. So I prayed and prayed relentlessly, honestly for hours. I took a break from praying to freshen up for dinner. That’s when I stopped talking that I heard Him say: “Psalms 62”. A Psalm about God being with me and Him being my Rock. I ended up finding the document that same night, after having calmed down and rejoiced in the fact that the Lord had talked to me. The point of my testimony is short: let God talk to you. Search for Him relentlessly. Forget everything you’ve ever known and listen, for He will talk to you and show you his love. All you need to do is pay attention when the time comes. Eli |
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November 2021
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